In twelve days, I will be running my first marathon. 
There's no way to communicate this via blog-writing, but thinking about it makes my heart goes berserk, hair on the back of my neck stand on end, and I shiver quite uncontrollably.

Okay, maybe it's not that bad. 
The truth is: I was never *ever* the running type before.  You can ask my grade-through-high-school friends.  They will attest to the fact that in PE, I've always been the one huffing and puffing, running slowly at the end of the pack, and complaining that my sides hurt.  I even had a special excuse as to why I hated running.  It makes me sweat.  Pretty lame excuse, huh?  Well this was in Indonesia, where the tropical climate is so hot that you can sweat just by sitting around. 

But when I moved to the States, I dabbled a little bit in this whole jogging business.  It was a way to workout without joining a gym.  I didn't have many friends when I first came here, and jogging was one activity that does not look pathetic when done in solitude.  And then a rough breakup came some time ago.  I had to do a lot of thinking, a lot of looking inside and process my feelings.  So I started to run more.  And then I came across Runner's World magazine.  That's when I started to develop a taste for long distance running.

At the end of 2006, I decided I would run a marathon in the following year.  I had my heart set on the San Francisco Marathon.  I was so excited too because I felt that it would mark the 26th year of my life.  How appropriate, right?  Run 26 miles to mark 26 years?  Well it didn't happen.  I think I got tired and bored of running.  Last year I ran on and off but not with the determination I'd had before.

So I joined a running club back in January of this year.  When conversations opened up between new members, my answer to the question why join a running club is always: because this was my resolution for 2007.  Ha!  But anyway I thought I could run with the club and manage to run a marathon. 

And then reality sets in.  What was I thinking?  I can't possibly run a marathon.  It's 26.2 friggin' miles!  Try driving 26 miles and you'll see that it will take you at least 30 minutes.  That's LONG and FAR!  But my $110 entrance fee was non-refundable.  So I might as well die trying try.  But I've been training for the past 4-5 months.  I've run double-digit miles nearly every Saturday morning for those months.  And when I tried running 26 miles, I'm happy to say that I was able to complete it.

But then I saw this movie last weekend.  I've wanted to see it for the longest time because I feel that I would totally relate.  But when I did see it, it's scaring the life out of me!..  Help!  I'm getting pre-marathon jitters again!  :(